By Sabrina & E. Marshall

http://border-princess.net/fic.htm/

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not me. Or I mean, I don't own her or any of her friends or enemies, those all belong to Joss Whedon, that monster guy, and 20th Century Fox. I'm just borrowing them for a little entertainment. Jeff Tweedy and the other Wilco band members also do not belong to me. I assume, hope anyway, that they belong to themselves and would enjoy a romp in the Buffy-verse. Again, I'm just playing a bit to entertain myself and hopefully anyone else who enjoys Buffy.

Archive/Distribution: Please link to this site.

Timeline: Fits in probably sometime early second season. Angel's still got his soul, everyone is still in high school. Specifically between Reptile Boy & Halloween.

Act 2

The way things go

You get so low

Struggle to find your skin

Hey ho

Look out below

Your prayers will never be answered again.

-‘Can’t Stand It’

Half a dozen vampires formed a tightly woven group in the center of the clearing. Buffy hesitated for only a split second before making her first move.

‘You know, just because they make you immortal, doesn’t mean they make you with a leather perfect rear. You should really reconsider. Maybe go with a long flowy skirt, something a bit more figure flattering?’

Six heads swiveled around--- six immortal women, all with youthful, shiney tresses and wrinkled angry faces.

‘Of course,’ Buffy tilted her head to one side, examining them. ‘Maybe, you should purchase some anti-wrinkle cream before you improve your wardrobe.’

Two of the vampires launched themselves at Buffy, one a bleached blonde in a bright pink and black corset, and the other clad entirely in black spandex, with short blue-black hair. Of all six vampires, Buffy noticed, the blonde must have had the biggest appetite: her mouth was dripping with fresh blood.

Buffy was ready for them, and lifted her leg high, scoring a kick right in the blonde’s well-toned abs, causing her to stagger back and nail the spandex-clad vamp right in the nose with her elbow. Both vampires snarled, and then screeched horribly--in some kind of dreadful, off-key harmony. Buffy pulled a wooden stake from her back pocket.

The other four vampires were moving away from the scene of the fight, back towards the middle of the cemetery. They formed a ring around what appeared to be a small figure in a ridiculous winter coat.

‘You know, I really don’t have time for this.’ Buffy’s leg caught the black haired vamp in the lower back, forcing her to the ground, and she whirled around in time to block another lunge from the athletic blonde. ‘The party looks like it’s about to start, and I’d really hate to be late. It’s considered rude you know.’

The black haired vamp sprung up from the ground, and wildly threw herself onto Buffy. Buffy staggered for a moment under the vamp's entire body weight, but she managed to whirl around and yank herself free from the skinny vampire's grasp. The vamp was sent spinning as Buffy threw her off, giving Buffy the ideal opportunity to land the stake squarely in her back.

The blonde caught Buffy’s other arm, pulling her around, as the black haired vamp exploded into a cloud of dust. Buffy grasped the blonde’s arm tightly and used the momentum of the vampire’s pull to swing her to the ground. The blonde rolled over in a summersault and landed on her feet, whirling around to face Buffy, but Buffy was already running off across the cemetery.

Buffy could hear voices getting closer as she ran, and she could only hope that there weren’t more than the four vampires she had already seen waiting to join the party. She spun around to trip the blonde, but it didn’t slow the vampire down this time. Her foot landed in the small of Buffy’s back, sending her into a forward roll of her own.

‘Okay, I really don’t like the fact that you just got grass stains on one of my favourite skirts,’ Buffy exclaimed. ‘That'll cost you!’

She rose up from her summersault and caught the blonde off guard with a kick right in her ample bosom. The vampire lost her balance, whirling backwards into a tree. Like her companion, she exploded into dust as a branch impaled her and broke off inside her chest.

Buffy continued running toward the remaining four vampires as they headed toward the lighted candle Buffy had seen earlier in the evening. If only she had listened to her instincts and just went to see Giles right away. Right now, though, she had to focus. The four vampires had reached the gravesite with the candle, encircling what appeared to be a limp pile of clothing: most likely her missing band member.

‘Hey, groupie girls,’ she said, placing one foot cockily on a gravestone, ‘What if he’s a one groupie at a time sort of rock star? You know, a one woman sort of man? I mean, I know it may sound really unusual and all, but they do exist. Or at least, I think they do.’

The four vampires glared at her and one of them snarled. ‘Slayer.’

‘Yep, that’s me. I generally just go by Buffy though. It’s nice to meet you too. Do you prefer decapitation, incineration, or the good old-fashion skewing method?’

The vampire that had spoken released her grip on the unfortunate pile of clothing, and he fell into the arms of the other three vampires. She brushed his crazy hair back from his sweaty, pale face, and tenderly touched his lips with her finger. Then she snarled again, and tossed her dark, corkscrew-curly hair over her shoulder, facing Buffy. ‘You won’t win this one Slayer,’ she said. ‘You’re just not his type.’

‘And I suppose you are?’ Buffy quipped. ‘He might prefer someone, well, how do I say this nicely? Someone without fangs?’

The curly-haired vampire howled and threw herself at Buffy. Buffy met the vampire’s face with a good old-fashioned high kick. The vampire fell backwards. ‘Get the lantern and get back to the others!’ she yelled as she staggered to her feet and knocked Buffy off balance by kicking her in the right knee

Buffy rolled into a summersault and landed in a crouch, throwing her stake into the heart of one of the three guard vampires. A tiny vampire with long blonde-brown hair exploded into a cloud of dust. Just as she combusted, she choked out a horrible hoarse laugh. The other two screeched at the sound of the awful laughter, and Buffy rushed them, kicking one in the face, and tripping the other as she grabbed the fainting musician out of their hands.

The curly-haired vampire, standing in a daze, suddenly grabbed the lantern, as the two guard vampires raced off across the cemetery, one stumbling in her platform shoes. The curly-haired vamp, realizing she was clearly overpowered, began backing away from Buffy.

‘You’ve not seen the last of us tonight, Slayer!’ she spat at Buffy before turning and darting across the graveyard, with the lantern swinging in her hand.

‘Gee, how sad. And we were just getting to be such good friends,’ Buffy exclaimed cheerfully as she watched the vampire flee. ‘Oh, well, some friendships are doomed before they even start.’

Buffy then turned her attention to the delirious musician in her arms. He sang softly to himself, his voice cracking and his words slurring together, ‘Far, far away... in those city lights... the night’ll be shinin’ on you tonight...’

‘Right, right...’ Buffy nodded as she sat him down on the ground. She pulled down the collar of his coat and took a quick look at his neck. Sure enough, he was sporting a pair of particularly gory puncture marks, complete with clotting blood, and a nasty purple bruise that could accurately be called the Hickey from Hell. The blonde bombshell had been a very messy eater.

‘Someone got a little neck happy,’ Buffy said. ‘Hey, you okay?’

‘I don’t care if you hate me...’ he mumbled, ‘You better look out... because I’m coming back... and I’m bringing my friends...’

His weak voice had a tinge of a small-town Midwestern drawl. Buffy raised her eyebrows. ‘Hey? What’s your name?’

‘I told Jay… that I don’t like anyone touching my amp… He knows that… he knows that! I’m not mad, but…well… I just rewired the whole thing. Jay… you gotta be careful...bump it, and where’s the sound? It’s gone…’ he swayed, looking extremely ill, and tipped over into Buffy’s lap.

She sighed. ‘Hey, your name? I know you’re probably a Wilco guy. If we’re going to get this cozy, you could at least tell me your name.’

‘Gotta protect my amp…’ He fell out of her lap and somehow started crawling over to the gravestone where the lantern had been hanging. He collapsed again and curled up against the gravestone. ‘Just sleep here. Cemetery... take me... my grave.’

‘No, you see, probably that’s a bad idea,’ Buffy explained. ‘I know it’s been a long night and you’ve lost a lot of blood, but you’re going to have to wake up. Basically, if you don’t wake up now, you might not wake up at all. Let’s see if we can get you back to Giles.’

‘But… caffeine... tired…’ he managed to sit up, leaning against the gravestone, and he looked Buffy in the eyes---his eyes focused, in a brief moment of clarity. ‘I think I just got gang banged.’ His eyes rolled back and he tipped over onto the ground again.

‘Right, by the fang gang. See, we’ve got some girls here in town who just sort of get a little carried away with that whole groupie scene. You know, sex, blood, and rock and roll. Um, come on, up we go.’

Buffy reached down and hauled him up, putting his arm around her shoulders.

‘Just need some sleep… haven’t slept in weeks...’

Buffy hoped that they wouldn’t run into any more of the bloodthirsty fans as she made her way across the cemetery, dragging the half-conscious Wilco guy with her.

‘I told Jay…’ he mumbled hoarsely, ‘no Pepsi products. I don’t care if we’ve got a whole bus full of Diet Coke. If this hotel doesn’t have a vending machine with Diet Coke… then why are we paying three hundred and fifty dollars a night to stay here? It’s a trashy joint…’

‘Yeah, that’s right, three hundred and fifty dollars would buy me three of these leather skirts, plus three coordinating shades of lipstick,’ Buffy said. ‘Just keep talking to me, and we’ll get you somewhere safe.’

Half way across the cemetery, Buffy heard the sound of voices. Turning her head in the direction of the sounds, she was sure she heard the distinct chatter of Willow and Xander. She changed her direction, and, as the distance closed between them, she could make out the three shapes of her Watcher and two best friends.

‘Buffy!’ Giles’ voice carried across the cemetery a little too well. Buffy glanced around quickly, hoping that Miss Vampire Groupie wasn’t anywhere within hearing distance.

Giles, Willow and Xander all hurried up to meet Buffy.

‘Buffy!’ Willow exclaimed. ‘You found him!’

‘Yeah. Or at least, I think I found him. I never have really gotten into Wilco, so I still don’t know his name.’ she loosened her hold on the musician. ‘Here, how ‘bout you try standing up by yourself for a while?’

‘It’s all right Buffy,’ Xander said, ‘I still can’t tell all the Beatles apart. They all look the same to me. Do Beatles songs even play on the radio anymore? Anything I would know?'

'Twist and Shout?' Giles remarked wryly to a blank stare from Xander. Giles sighed. 'Sometimes I almost agree with Snyder, this generation genuinely frightens me.'

'This isn't helping me figure out which musician this is.'

'Like I said,' Xander spoke again. 'Can't tell the Beatles apart, certainly can't tell Wilco apart.'

Willow squinted at the musician, who was managing to stand shakily on his own. He was looking up at the stars. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of their songs on the radio before. I don’t think I’ve ever heard any of their songs anywhere. I think Angel said that he listens to them sometimes...’

‘Hey! He has a winter coat on,’ Xander exclaimed.

‘Right… cold…’ the musician mumbled, ‘gotta keep those breezes off Lake Michigan at bay. I need some whiskey.’ He fumbled with his coat strings and put up the hood over his head, so that only his face and a few wild spikes of black hair were showing.

‘He’s a bit delirious,’ Buffy pointed out the obvious, ‘It seems one of the vampires had a snack before they got here.’

‘As curiously interesting as this conversation is, ’ Giles broke in, peering at her studiously through his small wire-rimmed glasses. 'I’m very glad we’ve found you, ‘I’ve been looking through the Watcher Diaries tonight—some of the old texts, and I think I have found something that might be of interest—’

‘Wait. Giles,’ Buffy cut him off, and motioned toward the musician, who was now lying on the ground and crooning softly to a can of Diet Coke, which he had evidently fished from the deep recesses of his winter coat. ‘We’ve got to get him somewhere safe, like now. The vamps might decide they’re still hungry, and come back here any minute.’

Giles blinked as he glanced down at the musician, and nodded affirmatively. The group started off, with Xander hauling the musician to his feet. As they walked, Willow came over and touched her friend on the shoulder. ‘Are you okay, Buffy?’

‘Yeah, thanks Willow, I’m good. Three of the vamps got away though.’

Giles stepped between Willow and Buffy, ‘Buffy, will you listen to me?’ Her watcher said sternly, unbuttoning his scratchy brown tweed coat, ‘I found information in the texts regarding an ancient ritual---’

‘Hey guys, wait up!’ Xander shouted, lagging behind. Dragging the dazed musician was slow going.

‘Yeah, buddy,’ Xander grumbled, rolling his eyes, ‘that’s a pretty interesting can of Diet Coke you got there, but I prefer Mountain Dew myself. Got any Mountain Dew in that coat? I could sure use a good old-fashioned sugar rush right about now.’

Giles continued, ignoring Xander, ‘The Watcher Diaries mention it several times, and a newer text, really a very interesting one, written by one of the Watchers in the eighteenth century—’

‘Eighteenth century! That’s right off the press!’ Xander exclaimed.

‘Thank you, Xander,’ Giles glanced back at him, nodded mockingly, and continued walking. ‘At any rate, it discusses an ancient ritual. A ritual that is of interest because it is regards a prophecy of a human that kills the slayer. This ritual is known as the ritual of Leollyas.’

‘Leollyas?’ Buffy interrupted. ‘Isn’t that the guy from Lord of the Rings?’

‘Um… no, Buffy.’ Her Watcher looked a bit perturbed. ‘That’s Legolas, not, Leollyas. They are totally unrelated. Now if you could just focus-’ He broke off, his eyes following the hooded figure that was wandering among the gravestones a short distance away.

Buffy’s gaze followed Giles’ and she sighed. ‘Wait a minute! Come back here. Xander, what are you doing? He’s wandering off!’

Xander shrugged. ‘He said to tell Jay the tour’s over. He’s had enough. He’s going home.’

‘Come on back here… there are more crazy vampires lurking about,’ Buffy grabbed the wandering musician’s arm and pulled him back towards the group. ‘Willow… could you?’

‘Of course,’ Willow took his arm.

‘Giles, why don’t we take this party back to the Library?’ Buffy said, ‘It looks like we’ve got a little research to do, and we need to get him out of this graveyard before our fanged friends come back for dessert.’

Tendrils of smoke swirled up into the air as a tall, leather clad form paced the concrete floor.

‘They should be here by now,’ a low voice growled.

‘Patience, darling,’ a small white hand crept over the black leather, halting the hollow, ringing sound of boots on concrete. ‘Tonight will be our night.’

‘If those bloody imbeciles can ever manage to show up with our sacrifice. How difficult can it be?’ The platinum blonde vampire swirled around, clasped the small hand, and pressed it fervently to his lips. Then he began pacing again. ‘I sent them to capture a rock star, in the name of bloody Leollyas! Everyone knows that rock stars are stupid, horny blokes, who will go for any bird with breasts and black leather! I sent six birds with breasts and black leather! A rock star’s ego is larger than his brains. Hell, his dick is larger than his brains!’

He sullenly shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat, ‘I’ve had it with all the bloody leather-clad sex magnets that we have taking up space in this warehouse! I give them a task that is right up their alley---seducing a rock star! What could be any easier? All they have to do is get backstage, have a little snack, and then bring him to me. What the bloody hell could be keeping them?’

Spike turned around to face Drusilla, whose lower lip was beginning quiver. ‘Spike…’ she said, her voice shaking. ‘You didn’t send me.’

‘Of course not, Pet,’ he closed the distance between them and tipped her chin up with his fingers. ‘You’re not well. That’s why I put up with bleeding scholar over here,’ he motioned to the greasy little man who was hunched over six books, and appeared to be reading them all at once. ‘Yammering on and on about ritualistic texts and all that other nonsense---it’s all so we can kill the Slayer. Then we’ll be free to concentrate on a cure for you.’

‘You don’t think I’m sexy?’ Dru’s lip stopped quivering as it moved into a pout.

‘Bloody Victoria’s Secret model, Dru,’ Spike leaned down and kissed her. ‘There’s just always this small insignificant chance that when we’re out playing, we’ll run into that Slayer girl. And she seems to mess up our fun. And I don’t want to see you skewered through before you get well enough to do the skewering yourself.’

Dru’s hand slid down Spike’s neck, and down under his silky shirt. She laughed, and her dark eyes rolled back, in anticipation of another kiss.

Suddenly, a horrible commotion made both of them turn their heads in the direction of the warehouse entrance.

Three ragged female vampires were stumbling over each other and falling off their platform shoes in their haste to get into the warehouse and get the door shut behind them.

Spike stepped away from Dru, releasing his hold on her. He vamped out and turned icy blue eyes onto the cause of the racket.

‘So,’ he took a threatening step towards the three vamps. ‘Where is my rock star? I wanted a private concert.’

The one who was wearing combat boots instead of platform shoes---a short-haired blonde named Estrella---stepped forward and glared defiantly at Spike. ‘I don’t even know if I’d call him a rock star. He’s not that famous. I’d never heard of him.’ She crossed her arms over her chest and planted her steel-toed boots firmly on the concrete.

With several swift strides, Spike closed the distance between himself and the three vamps. He hit Estrella across the face, knocking her half way across the room, where she slammed into a pile of wooden crates.

‘If I wanted opinions on music, Estrella,’ he said dryly. ‘I’d go buy a bloody copy of Rolling Stone magazine.’

He turned slowly around to the other two vampires. The curly-haired vamp had her hands behind her back: she was re-tying the strings of her backless leather shirt, which had nearly fallen off in the commotion.

‘Nastya, you allowed our celebrity to get away.’

She was now busy hitching up her zebra-print pants, which had also began to slip down. ‘He was very attractive.’ Nastya murmured absently, ‘Actually I wanted to turn him...’

‘You wanted to what!?’ Spike’s voice raised a decibel or two. ‘What is wrong with you three? We’re not here to turn him, bloody hell, we’ve got enough useless, good for nothing bloodsuckers mucking about! We’re here to give him a good draining so that Drusilla here,’ Spike turned around and motioned to the ivory clad beauty standing next to the wooden table. ‘Can be all back to normal---and I won’t have to put up with the likes of you three!’

Estrella emerged from the pile of wooden crates and sulked off into a far corner of the room. She let out a string of expletives and punched the wall as hard as she could.

Nastya shifted nervously, and continued murmuring to herself, ‘He would make such a good vampire. There’s just something so... haunting about him. His eyes, that little smile he does, the way he sings... I can’t explain it...’ Her eyes glazed over for a moment, ‘I think I’m in love.’ Her body jerked and she slapped her hand over her mouth.

Spike grabbed Nastya by her curly hair, ‘You disgust me,’ he snarled. He shoved her head-first down onto the concrete.

Drusilla was lying across the table, her white nightgown pulled up provocatively. ‘Spike,’ she called out in a weak voice, ‘I’m bored. Can’t we go back to the opium dens, like we used to? I would wear the red dress... the one with fifty little silver clasps down the back... and you would undo each of them, one by one... and we would ride the tigers...’ her eyes closed, and her head hit the table with a small thud.

‘Oh pet, I’m sorry.’ His leather coat swirled out as he turned and crossed quickly to Drusilla. He sat down on the table, carefully laying her head in his lap. He kissed her hand, and began stroking her silky dark hair. Her eyes opened sleepily and she smiled up at him.

‘When you’re well, love,’ he said, ‘we’ll go back. You’ll put on the red dress, and we’ll travel the world all over again.

The sound of splintering wood interrupted his reverie, as Estrella, who was still cussing loudly, heaved a wooden crate across the room. Nastya had gotten up off the floor, and was now standing in a daze, her lip bleeding. Joycelin, a red head, the smallest and perkiest of the three vampires, was casually sitting on the floor with both feet behind her head, like a pretzel, humming to herself.

Spike shot the vampires a withering glare. ‘I’ll give you one more chance. Listen up. I’m going to say this quickly so you three can get out of my sight.’

Drusilla was giggling and sucking on Spike’s hand. ‘As you can see, I have more important matters to attend to. Just a few more moments, love.’ He picked up Drusilla tenderly in his arms, and laid her out across the bed, before turning to the three vampires.

‘I send out six blazing hot seductresses—six—what happened to the other three? No, let me guess! Hm... they’re with the band? They’ve run off with the rock stars?’

‘No,’ Estrella shook her head in disgust, and spat out the hated word, ‘Slayer.’

‘I should have guessed. Not only have you misplaced our rock star, but now you’ve got the slayer on our tail.’ he sighed and continued in a clipped, precise tone, ‘The task I gave you was simply to do the only thing you can do--- seduce men. And not just any man--- a sodding rock star--- human, female, two legs, and they think sex!’ he glared at them. ‘And sometimes you don’t even have to have all of those qualifications.’

‘Spike,’ the red headed vampire spoke up quickly, ‘Maybe if Nastya gets to keep the singer, do think that I could have the drummer? Because he’s really cute. And we’d get to have cheerful music!’

‘I hate cheerful music,’ Spike brooded. ‘Please, just give me good old-fashioned punk rock any day. Nastya, you see the effect you’ve had on Joycelin? I’m going to have to let the Slayer stake her.’

‘But he was really cute.’ Joycelin didn’t stop. ‘Spike, don’t you think I’m cute?’

‘Shut the bloody hell up before I put a stake in you myself.’

‘Spike-y,’ Drusilla’s silky voice floated across the room. ‘Let them bring the singer back here and we’ll play with him.’

Spike walked over to the bed, and gave Drusilla a long, passionate kiss. He pulled back and touched her jaw line lightly. ‘Rock and roll, pet,’ he murmured to his paramour, and then turned around with quick precision.

‘Now, the three of you listen up, and you listen carefully. This ritual must be done tonight. If it is not completed tonight, then we have to wait another year, and by then, it will be too late. So, I expect to have a rock star in my presence before sunrise. You will find him. You will bring him to me. And you will bloody well do it now.’

Drusilla had risen from the bed to stand beside Spike. Spike wrapped an arm around her waist. ‘Now, Dru and I, are going up to the lighthouse with scholar man here. We plan on having a party tonight. Including our special guest of honor. You three had better get him there, one way or another. If not, you won’t have to worry about the Slayer staking you, because I have just enough room in my ash urn for the three of you. Am I making myself perfectly clear?’

Buffy pushed open the library doors, striding quickly into the room, as Giles, Xander, and Willow filed in behind her. The musician was holding on to the back of Willow’s shirt with one hand, and staring at the can of Diet Coke in his other hand.

‘Okay, he should be safe here,’ Buffy said as Willow sat the Wilco guy down in one of the chairs around the center table. ‘First of all, we should probably figure out if this festival of Legolas is going to take place,’

‘Actually, I think it’s generally known as the festival of Leollyas,’ said a new voice that was emanating from the shadowy recesses of Giles’ office.

‘Angel.’ Buffy sat down on the table, and looked at the dark haired vampire, who now stood directly in front of her.

‘And you’re lurking about Giles’ office, why? An old, dark empty office—the perfect Friday night hangout.’ Xander raised his eyebrows at the vampire, who ignored him.

‘Well, in that case,’ said Xander, ‘let’s get this party started!’ He began leafing loudly through the gilded pages of an old book. ‘Has anyone seen my pocket protector?’

‘Xander, please,’ said Giles, tapping his fingers on the table, ‘be careful with the manuscripts. That book in your hands is priceless, utterly irreplaceable.’

‘Hello, Buffy,’ Angel took a step forward. ‘I was hoping to find you guys here. I have some info---Wait a minute, is that Jeff Tweedy?’

Buffy blinked. ‘Tweedy?’

‘Tweety? Like Tweety Bird?’ said Xander loudly, with visions of Looney Tunes running through his head.

‘Jeff Tweedy,’ repeated Angel, ‘lead singer of Wilco. That is him, isn’t it?’

‘Oh. I suppose so, though so far I haven’t managed to get a name out of him,’ replied Buffy, ‘He’s still a little out of it. He had an encounter with some… groupies.’

Jeff looked off at something far beyond the shelves of old books, with a little bit of a smile at the corner of his lip, ‘I was Jeff Tweedy. But I quit. I need a cigarette.’

‘Actually,’ Giles turned to Jeff, ‘This is a school building. Hence, a no-smoking policy is strictly enforced.’

Xander looked up from his boring book and winked at Jeff. ‘Ha ha! I’ll bet you’ve been smoking more than cigarettes, right man? I don’t know what you’ve got in those coat pockets, Mr Rock Star,’ he continued tastelessly, ‘But I know that I want some!’

No one was laughing.

Xander cut his snickering short and quickly buried his head back in the dusty book. He glanced up again and coughed loudly several times. ‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, ‘I’m allergic to books. Especially old ones.’

With a loud clank, Jeff placed his can of Diet Coke on the table.

Xander just couldn’t resist. He looked up from his book and grinned at Jeff, ‘I smell doobies!’

‘Guys,’ Willow said, ‘Guys, we need to focus. For all we know the ritual might be taking place right now.’

‘Willow’s right. Buffy, what were you saying about groupies?’ Angel asked, looking interested.

‘Groupies of the fanged variety,’ Buffy said quickly, ‘Looks like—what did you say his name was? It looks like Jeff Tweedy here and these groupies did a bit of necking.’

‘Hey Angel,’ Xander interrupted, ‘Do you actually listen to Wilco? Because none of us had ever heard of them...’

Angel didn’t answer and, thankfully, Willow spoke up, taking a seat at the computer. ‘Giles, have you tried searching the ritual of Leollyas on the Internet?’

‘Do you even need to ask that, Will?’ Xander said, ‘You know Giles and his passionate hate affair with the Dreaded Box.’

‘Hate is a very strong word, Xander. Let’s just say that computers and I have our differences, and leave it at that.’ Giles pulled out his pocket watch, and clicked it open. ‘Oh dear,’ he sighed, putting it away again, ‘we’d best get down to business.’

‘Right. Will, the computer is a good idea. Why don’t you look it up?’ Buffy turned to her boyfriend. ‘Angel, you said you had information?’

‘Yes, but it seems you might already know about it. Tonight is the…’

‘Festival of Leollyas,’ Xander interrupted. ‘We know.’

‘But Giles, you never explained what it was about.’ Buffy turned to her Watcher. ‘Why is it so important that we make sure it doesn’t happen tonight?’

‘It’s a festival that kills the Slayer,’ Angel said quietly.

‘Kills… huh?’ Buffy looked at Angel.

‘I’m afraid Angel is right,’ Giles said. ‘The ritual of Leollyas is an answer to a specific prophecy in which a Slayer would be killed by a human being, This ritual was recorded on paper in the late Middle Ages, and ever since there has been a danger that a vampire will run into a copy of the full text, and decide to take a crack at performing the ritual. Thus giving him the power to kill the Slayer.’

‘Something which, apparently, has been found,’ Angel looked at Buffy.

‘Great, once again, you’re all chummy, chummy with the bad news,’ Xander looked at Angel. ‘You know—once, just once, it’d be nice if you invited us to a party instead of telling us we’re all going to die.’

‘Right, and it’s that dying part that I’m really not liking right now,’ Buffy said ‘What is the ritual and how do we stop it?’

‘Well, the only identified facsimile of the full sacrament was discovered in the catacombs by a Watcher of the sixteenth century. The vampires must locate one of the descendants of the original individual who eradicated the Slayer so that they may imbibe—’

‘Giles, English!’ Buffy exclaimed.

‘Oh, sorry. Um… essentially, it was a Benedictine monk, a human, who killed the original Slayer. Now, the vampire who has decided to perform the ritual tonight needs to find a descendant of this monk so that he may drink of his blood. The uh… the vampire that drinks of his blood is then is given the power to kill the Slayer. Of course, this is only a danger… uh… if a full manuscript of the ritual has been discovered.’

‘Which it has?’ Buffy looked at Angel, and he nodded. Buffy tried to search his eyes, but they were dark and shadowy.

‘We need to figure out who this descendent is so that we can keep him away from vampires.’ Giles said, his eyes still darting down the page of the book.

For a moment, the library fell silent, except for a persistent, annoying clicking sound. Jeff’s fingers slipped off the tab on top of his Diet Coke can over and over again, as he attempted to open it. Each time his finger slipped off, a little metallic ‘click!’ was produced. His fingers just didn’t contain the strength. He tried using his fingernail instead, but his fingernail was too short, and kept slipping off the tab.

All five sets of eyes turned to Jeff Tweedy. He was staring at the Diet Coke can.

‘Click...click...click...click...’

‘I think,’ Xander said, his eyes not leaving the unopened can of Diet Coke. ‘That’s it’s fairly apparent who the Vampires are after tonight.’

‘Him?’ Buffy blinked at Jeff, who was now pulling on the tab with two fingers. He looked as if he was going to pass out from the strain. ‘You think he’s our descendent guy?’

‘Well, it does make sense actually,’ Giles said, ‘You did say that the vampires stole him away from the Bronze and were fairly determined to keep him.’

‘But if all they had to do was suck his blood, then why didn’t they just hurry up and suck it and leave him at the Bronze? Why were they so desperate to keep him?’ Buffy frowned, ‘It was obvious that at least one of them had already had a snack, so if sucking his blood makes them able to kill me, wouldn’t I be dead already?’

‘No,’ Willow spoke up from the computer. ‘I mean, you would be dead already, but it’s not just sucking his blood. They have to do it in a specific location that is in full view of the full moon. The ritual also involves a special cup and all these fancy words, and stuff.’

‘Generally, we in the academic community refer to it as Latin,’ Giles said, taking a volume off the pile of dusty forest green books on the desk and opening it. ‘But she’s right.’

‘Well, that explains why they didn’t just suck him dry behind the Bronze,’ Xander said.

‘Yeah,’ Willow looked at Xander. ‘Kind of a drive-thru vampire snack.’

Angel looked at Buffy. ‘Did you kill the vampires that had him?’

‘Three of them, why?’

‘Had all of them drank his blood?’

‘I doubt it. He’s hardly drained dry, and the only one that had blood on her face was the blonde—and I staked her first thing. She had really tacky taste in corsets. What is it?’

‘Well, there’s sometimes a loophole, but if you killed them all, it shouldn’t be a problem.’

‘A loophole?’ Buffy blinked at Angel. ‘There’s a loophole!?’

‘Oh, dear,’ Giles said suddenly, looking up from the leather bound volume.

‘Oh dear? I don’t like ‘Oh dear’.’ said Buffy.

‘Well, it’s just that, even if we keep him safe tonight, um… he’s still in danger. Not necessarily tomorrow, or the night after, but you see, every full moon before All Saint’s Day.’

‘Great,’ Xander said. ‘So what, we get to be Wilco’s new bodyguards?’

‘No, you see,’ continued Giles, his finger running along the lines of text, ‘there is a ritual we can perform that will render his blood useless. It would permanently put both him and Buffy out of danger. However, it requires that we perform the ritual tonight—at a specific location where the moon shines full.’

‘The moon shines full?’ Xander asked. ‘Uh, it’s a full moon tonight, so isn’t that anywhere outside?’

‘No, no, the location must be in a clearing at a high elevation... it has something to do with the moon’s tidal pull,’ Giles pushed his glasses up on his nose and crinkled his brow. ‘Where could…’

‘I should probably try to find those other three vampires,’ Buffy said, studying Angel’s grim face, ‘So I can make sure to stake them. I don’t want there to be any possibility of loopholes.’

‘I’ll do that,’ Angel said, catching her eyes. ‘You should stay with Jeff, to make sure that he’s safe while Giles performs this…’ Angel frowned, ‘deritualization… ritual.’

‘The full moon,’ Willow leaned forward, her chin in her hands, ‘Where would be the best view of the full moon?’

The library fell silent again, except for the steady clicking noise. The tab on the Diet Coke can had bent up higher, but it had yet to puncture the top of the can. Jeff’s fingers felt weaker each time he grasped the tab. He looked intently at each person in the room. He was damp with sweat. ‘Help?’ he rasped.

Xander stood up, knocking his chair over backwards, ‘The lighthouse!’

‘I’m sorry,’ Giles took his glasses off and stared at Xander. ‘The lighthouse?’

‘Yes, people go up there to have mad tantric… uh… well you know…’ Xander looked away from Giles. ‘You’ve got a great view up there—I think it’s the highest point in town—and there aren’t any trees. Basically, you’d have a complete view of the moon.’

‘That’s as good a bet as any,’ said Buffy, shrugging into her leather coat. ‘All right then, here’s what we’ll do: Angel will take Xander and go after the remaining three vampire chicks while Giles, Willow, and I will take Jeff Tweedy up to the lighthouse so that we can perform this ritual.’

‘If you say so,’ Xander stood up, rolling his eyes at Angel, ‘Let’s get moving.’

‘Wait—’ Willow pointed out, ‘Angel wasn’t at the concert, so he hasn’t seen the vampires that were with the band.’ she glanced at Angel, ‘How will he know which ones to—’

‘Oh,’ Buffy turned around. ‘That’s right, I forgot! You weren’t with me when I…’

‘I was.’ Angel looked down, avoiding her eyes. ‘I was sort of... at the Bronze before. It would have been pretty hard to miss them. They were on the front row, practically drooling all over the stage...’ he looked up at Buffy.

Buffy stared. ‘You were at the Bronze? You didn’t even say Hi?’

‘Buffy, focus,’ Xander waved his hand in front of her. ‘Once again, need I say, saving the world, or in this case your life, is probably more important than the appearance or disappearance of Dead Boy here.’

‘Please don’t call me that,’ Angel glared at Xander and then looked at the big black buttons on Buffy’s leather coat.

‘Right,’ Buffy said, ‘well, if you think you can recognize the vampires in question, then we’re all good to go.’

Angel tried to look Buffy in the eyes, but she looked past him, and turned towards the door. ‘Giles, do you have everything you need?’

‘Uh… well, yes…’ He glanced at Angel and then at Buffy, trying to figure out what on earth had just happened.

Buffy pushed through the doors, ‘OK, let’s hurry. We’ll do what we can to get rid of Jeff Tweedy’s bad blood, and take care of any possible future attacks by the Vampire’s Together Outrageously.’

‘Right then,’ Xander said. ‘Off we go to save the world again.’

Forward to Act 3

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